RFL History

How It Began

Baseball did this to us.

It may sound strange, but the Realistic Football League™ was invented due to baseball. Back in the 1980s, the first Fantasy Sports leagues began when Rotisserie Baseball was invented. After I read about it, I convinced a few of my friends to try it with me. After playing it for a couple of years, we learned something very important about Rotisserie Baseball—it sucks!

It was as boring as staring at a mothball. However, my friends and I had played football for many years (up to the Semi-Pro level for small cash). We began to wonder if a fantasy version of football would be more fun.

I checked into it and found out that the idea had already come around. After buying a couple of magazines and going over the rules, it was apparent that there was one huge problem; Like Rotisserie Baseball, the scoring didn't resemble the actual game. In fact, it was 'Nerdball'; a bundle of statistical numbers for guys who clearly had more of a connection with a pocket protector than a football.

What to Do?

Clearly, fantasy sports systems were being invented by a bunch of cubicle-monkeys who were more interested in math than sports. We had no interest in totaling up a bunch of meaningless numbers just because you could. We wanted realistic football scoring, and we were going to get it. I set out for the library and made copies of old box-scores. After a lot of research, I developed a scoring system and tried it with real NFL games.

I had quite a few goals in mind;

• Keep the scores under 100 points. Wrong game—if we wanted Fantasy Basketball, then we'd play Fantasy Basketball.
• There are no points for dribbling, no points for passing a puck, no points for reaching second base—and there should absolutely be no points for yardage in football. Those are all generic things that occur as you attempt to score. You might as well give 'Teenager Points' to a baby for taking their first step.
• Use a scoring system that is easy enough for anyone with a pencil and a morning newspaper (We didn't have the internet back then) to tabulate their game score within 30 minutes or less. We had jobs to keep.
• Make it crystal-clear that the Quarterback is the 'main man' on any football team.
• Emphasize the age-old football tenet that if you don't have a decent rushing game, you usually won't win. It's nice to have a lot of passing and points, but some of that comes because a team is hopelessly behind—a good rushing team controls games.
• Select individual defensive players. The point is to create a team, not have half of it pre-packaged by selecting a team's entire Defense.
• Include the Punter, since they are part of every football team.
• Real teams can emphasize rushing, passing, or defense—depending on their personnel. Include a flexible position for Special Teams, to allow each team its own personality.

And so it began. The Offensive and Kicking scoring were easily matchable to true NFL scoring. Our desire to include Defense and the Punter required the ability to recognize special plays while keeping the scoring low enough to remain near to a college football score. Once that was done, we had realistic football, so that's what I named it.

Our first draft was held in my friend Willie's living room on the East Side of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Then we started playing and it worked—over and over again. No matter how the NFL changed, no matter which stars popped up—we consistently averaged scores near 42-28 (Football numbers we could easily live with). You merely had to draft with the same direction that NFL teams and rules were trending (I'm not giving any tips. My opponents might read this.)

The End Result

It blows my mind that those yardage fantasy leagues still exist today. They're all over the internet, in places like Yahoo and ESPN. To each his own, I guess.

Some of us RFLers have tried it, but we just can't make the leap. Personally, it turns my stomach. By Week 4, half the players have quit participating anyway. That's probably from boredom and the frustration of never knowing what the score is until they decide to put it up for you. Other people like it, because they think they have a passion for Fantasy Football.

Passion? They dont know a damn thing about passion! 'Passion' is having an RFL owner who accidentally broke an opponent's glass coffee-table by slamming a beer can on it. 'Passion' is having that same owner throw their brother's phone through his own window. 'Passion' is someone who tosses a book so hard that they put a chip in another owner's new big-screen TV screen.

And that was a female owner.

When I wanted to quit playing and focus on the work of being the Commissioner of so many leagues, one player threatened to kill my dog—I didn't even own a dog, but he let me know that I was considering blasphemy and a treachery worse than Benedict Arnold. I knew I couldn't quit, even if I wanted to.

If you want to see grown men cry, tell them that you can't be the Commissioner next year. The first year I was forced by life to skip the RFL, my stomach burned in knots. Another owner took over the duties and within months I was out looking for his dog. Play for just one year and it's a lifelong addiction.

Summary

Rotisserie Baseball started it all, so I blame baseball. I blame it for making me and my friends laugh too hard. I blame it for giving people more things to do with their mates. I blame it for the parties and good food. I blame it for letting me see my old friends more often.

Thanks, baseball.

One thing is for sure; Some of the best times that I ever had were spent sitting around watching NFL games and talking smack with my buddies, making fun of each other, or laughing at whoever's face was turning red from a good old-fashioned RFL pounding.

We even had two RFL owners get married. I am absolutely positive that it's because I had the foresight to put them in different leagues, so they wouldn't have to play each other.

We had pizza, fried chicken, and other foods that only ended up being tossed at someone. We had girlfriends and wives that "didn't care about football", who later beat the men and told us that we "don't know a 3-4 Defense from a hole in your asses." Good times, that's for sure—since 1988.

That's why we do this.